I’ve met so many amazing adults and children at the horse farm down the road.

It’s an equine therapy farm for children with autism, cerebral palsy, anxiety, and depression.

The connections they make with the horses are strong and difficult to describe.

The horses are gentle, loving, and patient.

I didn’t realize how therapeutic it would be for me to help lead the horses.

One day in particular, the farm changed me.

This little blonde-haired girl , with a giggle that could light up the world, decided she was going to hold herself up on the horse ALL BY HERSELF.

Every Saturday prior to that Saturday, one person would walk on each side of her and the horse, holding her back and her leg so she would be able to balance and sit up straight on the horse.

She didn’t know that I prayed for her ankles and legs to be strong that morning before I arrived. She just knew she was ready.

We were all in tears as we watched this brave little blonde-haired girl hold herself up on the horse with a strength in her little legs that she trusted that day (and every Saturday after that!)

Her confidence grew, week after week.

One recent Saturday, she asked me to just place my hand on her back. She said it helped her legs feel stronger. In that exact moment I realized that I feel that way too, when I feel God’s loving hand on my back.

She said her legs felt “loosened.” I thought, that’s what trust feels like. I can relax in God’s hands when He holds me up.

She giggled so much she couldn’t breathe. I laughed so hard I cried. She laughed because I was crying.

On my way home that day I thanked God for strengthening her legs, and for showing me what it means to trust Him more. I thanked Him for His hand on my back, His guidance, and His love for me.

The farm is so much more than a farm.

It’s a place where miracles happen, connections are made, and hearts are changed forever. ❤️

Ruthie was tired. She woke up with her eyes half open and stumbled through the day.

Every Day.

She tried getting more sleep by going to bed earlier. She tried drinking chamomile tea before bed. She even tried taking melatonin gummies at night. Nothing worked!

One day, as she was walking to school, she bumped into something. It was soft and warm so she climbed into it. It lifted her up into the sky and she fell asleep! She slept better than she ever had before. She felt amazing when she woke up. She was placed, by the thing that she climbed into, right back on the sidewalk so she just walked the rest of the way to school.

Ruthie couldn’t stop thinking about her experience. She tried to tell her friends but they laughed at her and said she was crazy. She told her mom when she got home but she said she was worried about her and that she would be scheduling a doctor appointment for her SOON! She told her dad the following weekend but he wasn’t really paying attention to her because he was on his phone, so he just smiled and nodded.

Ruthie couldn’t wait to find that something again someday.

A week later, Ruthie’s mom told her they were moving to a new city and her dad told her he was getting married. The news zapped Ruthie and she felt exhausted again. She found herself stumbling through the days just like she was before. She had completely forgotten about that something she bumped into. She lost her joy somewhere and stopped looking for it. She started crying and couldn’t stop. Her mom scheduled an appointment with a counselor. Her dad got married. All Ruthie wanted to do was sleep through life.

One day she woke up and felt someone wiping her tears away. She couldn’t see anyone but she felt it. The same someone hugged her with more love than she’d ever felt before. Her joy seeped back in as the love rushed into her heart.

Ruthie stopped crying.

She tried to tell her friends about the hug but they laughed at her and said she was crazy. Her mom was happy for her but told her she was still concerned. Her dad, well, you know… nodded.

Ruthie searched for the something every time she felt sad and it appeared! Sometimes it was there for her to climb into and sleep when she was tired. Sometimes it wiped her tears away. Sometimes it hugged her with that same healing love hug she felt that very first time. The something never left her! Ruthie grew closer and closer to the something through her growing up years. She stopped telling people about it. It was her secret. It helped her heal from her parent’s divorce, her move to a new city, and her dad’s new marriage. It even helped her focus at school! She never let go of her something and it never let go of her either.

If you ever feel extremely tired or overwhelmingly sad, seek out your something. I believe you will stumble right into it. It will help you through life just like it did with Ruthie.

For me, that something was God. I pictured Him there with me as I scrolled through my past. True healing began when I realized He was there with me, holding me when life was exhausting me. He was the One who was wiping my tears and hugging me with His enormous love.

The waves were pushing us close to the dock and I was afraid the boat would slam into it. I told my daughters I had to put the anchor out but I wasn’t able to reverse quickly enough. We hit the shore.

No damage was done, thankfully, but it was scary!

Now I realize how important it is to be aware and prepared for every possible situation.

I also made a connection between the boat anchor and my life anchor.

When I was younger, I was lost. My daily decisions were based on a hunger to be accepted and loved. I was the boat headed toward the shore, unprepared.

Once we untangled ourselves from the tree on the shoreline, and the weeds, we found a great place to throw the anchor in. My daughters pretended they were on the bow of the Titanic. They danced, laughed, and captured our smiles on camera.

I pulled on the rope attached to the anchor a few times just to make sure it was secure.

Again, I realized that the anchor of my life is always secure. I just have to remember to remain connected to it.

Hebrews 6:19 says that we have a hope in Jesus that is an anchor to our soul.

When I was going through my divorce I untied the anchor and threw the rope in the water. I thought I’d be better off without God.

Ten years later, as I felt like I had slammed into the shore, my life sinking, it felt like God reached down to the bottom of the lake and gently handed me the rope. I accepted His grace, His love, and His forgiveness.

My soul has been re-anchored!

I am so thankful for a God, as my anchor, who will never let me go.

The first world I knew.  Protected, nourished, loved.

She was chosen to carry me.

The details were not accidentally aligned.

Her strength was passed down to me, her courage flows through my veins.

The situation we were in was not ideal but her love for me allowed us to conquer the evils that attempted to devour us.

We fought a lot as I grew up and we often didn’t see eye to eye.

There were moments when I felt like walking away. There were moments that I did.

She loved me anyway.

I ran back into her open arms more times than I can count.

She never judged me, and she was always happy to see me.

I asked her once if she was ashamed of me because of my biggest mistakes and she asked me in the most honest and sincere way, “Why would I be?”

Those words kept me moving forward despite my worst decisions.

My Mom has shown me unconditional love, always.

Her love allowed me to receive and accept another LOVE that was offered to me long ago.

She is humble, kind, giving, wise, and strong.

I am so thankful for her!

I know that God chose her to be my Mom because He knew exactly who I’d need to raise me.

He knew I’d need the exact amount of love, kindness, and strength that she provided.

He knit me together in her womb, on purpose, for a purpose.

Her love for me will never cease, nor will mine for her.

She also taught me how to love my own children unconditionally.

As I get older, I realize that the ability to see beyond our circumstances, beyond the struggles, and to carry each other to the finish line, is a gift.

Thank you, Mom, for accepting the challenge of carrying me, raising me, and loving me unconditionally!

I’ve been part of so many conversations where the words “I just haven’t had that kind of experience. When I do, then I’ll believe.”

I always get a little bit discouraged when I hear that because I never know how to respond.

Recently, I realized that in order to be a part of that experience there must be an invitation.

I believe that having free will requires us to extend an invitation to God.

I believe that God will not enter where He has not been invited.

His love for us allows us to have free will.

His love for us allows us to be honest with Him.

I remember the day I fell on my knees and broke down crying out of a disgust for my life.

I remember begging God to help me. That’s what my invitation looked like.

I believe every invitation is unique.

The invitation will be life-changing.

The invitation will hand over the key to your heart to the One who created your heart.

God’s love will rush in, burst in, because He has been waiting eagerly to be invited in.

His love will wash away things that torment you.

He will invite you to lay down all of your troubles at His feet.

He will offer to take them from you.

He will never leave you!

So, if you have ever said that you just haven’t experienced God yet, I encourage you to offer Him an invitation.

Be ready to sit down and watch a new life unfold and then play out in front of you like the best movie you’ve ever seen 🙂

I watched a documentary about a celebrity recently. She said she is searching for “a feeling that she hasn’t found yet.”

Immediately, I knew what she was searching for. I hoped that she would find it by the end of her published story.

I think that all of us, at some point in our lives, could admit that we were searching for that same feeling.

We try on so many different feelings, hoping that maybe a combination of things will stir up that one feeling we really need.

Each time, when the things that are fleeting eventually float away, we are left feeling empty.

This celebrity, unfortunately, did not value herself. The things she tried on scarred her. The people she allowed into her life abused her. Her search for that feeling took her to a depth of emptiness that she couldn’t bare.

She didn’t give up though, thankfully.

At the end of the documentary, she was looking at pictures and watching videos of her past with her sons. She had to stop watching several of them because she just “wasn’t ready” to feel the scars yet.

She asked the interviewer, “What’s next?,” as if he knew the future.

When I heard her ask that question, I pictured her standing in front of a tall brick wall, trying to see through it, hoping that she could just walk through it.

I think we have all been in front of that wall also, at some point in our lives.

It takes so much courage to take the next step that is required to begin the climb.

It is as simple as reaching up and grabbing the hand that is reaching down, but it requires faith and surrender.

Instead of reaching up, it seemed like she turned around and repeated the search for the feeling she hasn’t found yet.

The documentary ended with her sitting on her couch, crying.

If you are at the wall today, reach up. You will be met by the most loving and gentle hand that you’ve ever been held by.

As soon as you start climbing, with all of the assistance that you need, the feeling you’re searching for will flood your heart.

Your search will be over.

Have you ever wondered why you’re here? Why you were created?

I wasn’t sure that I had a purpose for being here until recently.

I was working on an assignment, an explanation of why I chose the career that I have recently begun, when I was challenged with that question.

I sat and thought about it for quite some time. Pictures of my great-grandmother’s smile, loving eyes, and kindness were swirling around in my brain. I had to hit the pause button to really ponder why these pictures would have come to mind at that moment.

She was the kindest, most gentle person I’ve ever met. Despite the heartbreak of losing the people she loved dearly, she loved others in the most powerful way. I felt it as soon as we pulled in her driveway to take her out to the market on Saturday mornings.

As I paused that moment and held one of those pictures up to clearly study it, I saw my purpose.

I don’t know if I realized it way back when I was a child, but it was clear to me in that moment… it is to love people the way that she did.

I started the assignment by writing about my great-grandmother’s character traits and how they reminded me of someone else I met when I was 22. Someone who accepted me just as I was. Someone who has never left me. Someone who has given me a purpose.

The career I have recently begun is school counseling. In my second year of being a School Counselor, I cannot count how many times I have realized that my life prepared me for the purpose-filled moments that I have experienced. I have been able to love so many the way that my great-grandmother loved me and everyone she met.

Realizing that I have been able to love others this way fills my heart and ignites a renewed purpose in me everyday.

I believe that we all have a purpose that aligns with a gift that we have been given. For me, it is a love that can’t be contained. It is seeing greatness in children and helping them to see that greatness for themselves. When their greatness is realized, their purpose ignites.

In Genesis 1:14, I read that the stars were created to be a sign. Two thousand years before they were called to be a sign to point the wise men to Jesus, they were created for that very purpose.

I believe that we all have a unique and specific purpose, just like the “lights in the expanse of the heavens.”

I recently read a chapter a day of a book that I’ve read previously. I didn’t want to miss any details, so I read each word carefully. It didn’t take long for me to notice something that I missed before… there were so many minor characters in the story that are so easily overlooked. I realized that each of these characters played a very important part of the story, and they were specifically chosen to play that part. In the first chapter, I met two of these “specifically chosen people” who were faced with the challenge of trusting a promise that was made to them. Unlike their ancestors, they did not take matters into their own hands when the promise took longer than they wanted it to. They lived without fear and they were guided by peace. Their promise was a baby that would grow up to prepare people for an even greater promise.

The next two “specifically chosen people” were faced with the challenge of understanding. The things that were asked of them were miraculous and had never happened before. They were trusted with the greatest gift of all, one that would change EVERYTHING. They were so thankful, humbled, and honored to be chosen. Through the baby that they were chosen to bring into the world, mercy and peace would be gifted to all.

Another minor character in this book was the man who provided the place that the baby would be born.

The shepherds were “specifically chosen” to see an angel who would tell them where they could find the baby.

Next, a man was told that he would not die until he saw the baby. The baby was brought to him and he confirmed everything that the other chosen people believed. This man even told the parents of the baby that their son would be killed so that salvation could take place.

Every person who met that baby that turned into a boy and then became a man was specifically chosen for that moment.

This man died for our sins. He was crucified for our sins. It was all part of the plan from the beginning of time.

There was another man who was specifically chosen to carry the cross that Jesus was crucified on.

The day Jesus died, another man who was specifically chosen took Jesus’ body down off of the cross and laid Him in a tomb.

The guard who secured and set a seal on the stone in front of the tomb was chosen for that moment.

Today, many people are celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus who gifted us with mercy, peace, and salvation when He died.

It was all part of the plan from the beginning of time, for each person who was part of the story to be specifically chosen. Just like these people, we are all faced with the challenge of trusting or understanding the promises that were made, living without fear, and being guided by peace.

Merry Christmas!

I read a story recently where a promise was made to a group of people. The promise would give them something they longed for.

Some people gave up after a while. They stopped looking for it. Their eyes were fixed on the ground. Their world became hopeless.

Other people continued looking.

One day, the promise arrived. The people who never stopped looking were able to see it! They were transformed by it, and filled with its overwhelming love.

Unfortunately, those who stopped looking were unable to see it.

This story spoke volumes to my heart. There have been times when I have given up. I was impatient and my eyes were drawn to the ground. I missed out on great things because I stopped looking.

The promise in this story that I read recently still exists.

The only way to receive it and experience it and be transformed by it is to look for it. Call out for it. Draw close to it.

Never stop LOOKING

I have this lamp in my office that swirls little styrofoam pieces around in a circular motion like a tornado. As soon as the switch is turned on, the pieces start flying around inside. When the tornado forms, the pieces follow the path of the tornado.

The kids have named the lamp “chaos.”

Recently, I turned on my own chaos lamp by choosing the wrong path again. I felt the styrofoam pieces swirling down by my feet and I ignored them. I felt the pull of the tornado as it began to push me.

I kept going.

I stayed inside the chaos for two weeks, drowning out everything that told me to stop.

The tornado became stronger and stronger with each wrong choice that I made, until I felt stuck inside of chaos.

I heard a small voice inside my head telling me that the switch of the lamp could be turned off if I would just stop doing what I knew I shouldn’t be doing.

I ignored the voice and allowed the chaos to swirl.

The tornado was pushing me so fiercely that I felt like it was stealing my ability to breathe.

Relationships in my life were falling apart.

My peace was gone and I felt alone in a dark place.

I surrendered.

The switch of the lamp was turned off by something greater than myself as soon as I surrendered.

Drenched, and covered in styrofoam pieces, I busted out of the tornado lamp called chaos.

I asked for forgiveness and the pieces instantly fell off of my clothes.

I could breathe again.

There was a light shining on the path that I left, so I jumped back onto it.

It is smooth, peaceful, and covers me in love.