I have this lamp in my office that swirls little styrofoam pieces around in a circular motion like a tornado. As soon as the switch is turned on, the pieces start flying around inside. When the tornado forms, the pieces follow the path of the tornado.
The kids have named the lamp “chaos.”
Recently, I turned on my own chaos lamp by choosing the wrong path again. I felt the styrofoam pieces swirling down by my feet and I ignored them. I felt the pull of the tornado as it began to push me.
I kept going.
I stayed inside the chaos for two weeks, drowning out everything that told me to stop.
The tornado became stronger and stronger with each wrong choice that I made, until I felt stuck inside of chaos.
I heard a small voice inside my head telling me that the switch of the lamp could be turned off if I would just stop doing what I knew I shouldn’t be doing.
I ignored the voice and allowed the chaos to swirl.
The tornado was pushing me so fiercely that I felt like it was stealing my ability to breathe.
Relationships in my life were falling apart.
My peace was gone and I felt alone in a dark place.
I surrendered.
The switch of the lamp was turned off by something greater than myself as soon as I surrendered.
Drenched, and covered in styrofoam pieces, I busted out of the tornado lamp called chaos.
I asked for forgiveness and the pieces instantly fell off of my clothes.
I could breathe again.
There was a light shining on the path that I left, so I jumped back onto it.
It is smooth, peaceful, and covers me in love.