An apology

img_2521-1To my children,

In my search for happiness, I set you on a shelf. I cared for you, and I made sure you were safe. However, I didn’t spend quality time with you.

My eyes didn’t see that then though.

I thought that once I was happy, I could be a good mom.

As you’re aware, I didn’t achieve the ideal relationship, the one I thought would make me happy.

Each person that entered our lives altered them.

Slowly, sadly, our strings frayed.

I stepped further and further away from the shelf, in my pursuit.

You climbed off of the shelf eventually, seeking the validation and acceptance that I failed to provide.

Thankfully, the distance was short-lived. You were protected, and forgiving. You loved me through it.

My eyes are open now. My heart sees you.

It wasn’t happiness that would make me a better mom. It was peace.

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