To my children,
In my search for happiness, I set you on a shelf. I cared for you, and I made sure you were safe. However, I didn’t spend quality time with you.
My eyes didn’t see that then though.
I thought that once I was happy, I could be a good mom.
As you’re aware, I didn’t achieve the ideal relationship, the one I thought would make me happy.
Each person that entered our lives altered them.
Slowly, sadly, our strings frayed.
I stepped further and further away from the shelf, in my pursuit.
You climbed off of the shelf eventually, seeking the validation and acceptance that I failed to provide.
Thankfully, the distance was short-lived. You were protected, and forgiving. You loved me through it.
My eyes are open now. My heart sees you.
It wasn’t happiness that would make me a better mom. It was peace.