Part 3

In the book “The Pursuit of Happyness,” the author breaks up seasons of his life into chapters. I think about this often, whenever I laugh quietly to myself about whatever it is that’s happening in my life that warrants a next chapter. So, here we are. I am calling this post “Part 3” because I think I am in that in-between chapters period of my life. I’ll keep you posted on the next chapter as soon as I am made aware of when it is happening. That’s kind of how my life has gone… I know that I have graduated to the next season in the middle of it. The chaos blinds me until the spinning stops at the moments where I need to pay attention. Like the scenes in so many movies where the main character is standing still but the world is spinning around her. People she once knew, places she has been… like the last moments that happen before something big is about to fall before you, and your life flashes before your eyes. I feel like I am right there right now, watching everything in my past spin by, with glimpses of my future that are still blurry but are coming into focus with each new day. I keep seeing myself playing outside when I was about five years old. I loved catching frogs and making them my friends. I’d keep them for little while and then set them free. There was one I forgot about (and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling guilty about that) but I buried his little bones out of respect. In a paper I wrote for school recently, I thought about how that little girl became me. She grew up and never lost her curiosity and sense of wonder. She never lost her quest to seek adventure, especially the getting lost part. There are other parts of me that are starting to make sense too… I had a dream once, a long time ago, when I was looking for answers about my purpose. In the dream I was standing in the doorway of a beautiful, white Victorian house, with pillars that lined the porch. The door was open as I was greeting someone (still unknown to me as I write this), and there were several little children around me holding on to my legs, pulling at my pants for attention. When I woke up, I thought it meant that I would own an orphanage someday. I placed the memory of that dream on the shelf of my high school bedroom closet. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago when I was driving home from my internship at the local middle school. That vision flashed back to me but this time it wasn’t a Victorian house and they weren’t little children. It was a middle school and the doorway was a school counseling office. In that moment of that flashback, I felt like I had arrived! Yes, tears flooded my eyes at the realization that I found my purpose. A few moments later I realized that the little children who were tugging on me in the dream were the students who are currently tugging on my heart. I want to help them find their purpose. I want to help them find out what motivates them to succeed. I want to show them that they were created uniquely and purposefully. I want them to see the hope that I see in them.

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